Cyber Monday – Then and Now

What a typical “Cyber Monday” used to be: Going on AOL chat to flirt with some girl whom you have no idea what she looks like and basing her attractiveness entirely on the cuteness of her screen name… Read More

Desert Dolphins

I would like to befriend a dolphin. Admittedly, it’s kind of tough to do in the desert though. With its tumbleweeds and strip malls, this isn’t exactly the ideal habitat to cultivate such an aquatically barriered companionship, but… Read More

Birthday Boy 22nd Anniversary Edition

Since today is my birthday, you can take this opportunity to purchase a limited edition cassette of a crappy lo-fi EP I released in 1996, (which has been re-released by a label in Eugene, Oregon without my knowledge… Read More

The Truth About “Mystery Shoppers”

“Mystery shopper” has to be one of the scummiest occupations. The mystery shopper is basically a low level informant, spying on underpaid retail employees and helping big corporations enforce compliance with all kinds of pointless rules and tedious… Read More

Brassless Balls

Several years ago I went through a phase of collecting brass (and sometimes bronze) statues from antique and thrift stores. Through working for a company that distributed electronic components, I learned that the price of copper had gone… Read More