I would like to befriend a dolphin. Admittedly, it’s kind of tough to do in the desert though. With its tumbleweeds and strip malls, this isn’t exactly the ideal habitat to cultivate such an aquatically barriered companionship, but at least there are no sharks to turn up any wild cards. Where could my hypothetical dolfriend live? The wave pool at Big Surf waterpark might provide an acceptable level of oceanic ambiance, but the chlorinated water would not at all be accommodating and would ultimately kill the vibe. I wonder how long a dolphin could survive in Tempe Town Lake. It may not be Marina Del Rey or the coast of Catalina, (or even salt water for that matter) but hey at least it’s wet (insert that’s what she said joke here.)

Would a dolphin be willing to trade the tropical treasures and wide open freedom of the briny deep for the opportunity to have a fair weather good buddy like me? How would I be ever able to live with the guilt of knowing that I was depriving my dolfriend of realizing his full mammalian potential, simply because I wanted to have someone around to play Sega Genesis and send sonar catcalls with? Selfish as I am, I don’t think I could go through with it. It’s time to come to terms with the realization that I will never find my desert dolphin.