The Hand of Calibos

I fear there exists an alternate version of Hollywood’s alternate version of a popular myth, one where Perseus emerges as a much more flawed, tormented and tragic hero. His eyes “open to grim reality” as he awakens in Joppa and finds himself with no helmet! no sword! no shield! certainly no winged white horses or […]

Mining For Elizabeth

For many years I wondered what ever happened to Elizabeth, my old friend Andrew’s high school girlfriend. Like it was yesterday, I can still remember the three of us driving around in the summer and fall of 1997 in my black ’87 Ford Escort EXP, a car which, while prone to breaking down at the […]

Pageless Wonders

Some of you have never professed your love to a girl by spelling words numerically on a translucent Motorola pager, and it shows. You’ve never known what it feels like to be the boy/girl who cried wolf and paged someone “911” even though there was no critical emergency, and all you wanted to do was […]

In Defense of Disco // A Doctrine

“DISCO SUCKS” T-SHIRT . . . you’ve seen it before, I’m sure. Do you notice the utter INHUMANITY IMPLODED in that disgrace of a statement? Four-scores-and-seven-eightballs ago, Disco was the forefront of a NEW HERMETIC TRADITION ROOTED IN HEDONISM and VITALITY THROUGH SEXUAL YOGA . . . the gyrating HIPS of the young Disco-goer symbolize […]

The Platinum Plated Toilet

The video appears to have been filmed at the Louvre Museum. It features a lot of Renaissance paintings in the background, such as the Mona Lisa. I don’t recognize many of the other paintings by name, but I did notice the well-known Hellenistic sculpture called “Winged Victory of Samothrace,” which makes frequent appearances throughout the […]

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